The scene was set, the day had come. 8 months, 12 days, and 4 hours had gone into planning every last detail. A young man stood at the front of the church waiting to see his bride for the first time that day. The pre-service music filled the ornate church, the setting of the ceremony was being laid and it put everyone at ease. The young man took a moment to reflect on everything that brought him to this particular spot on this particular day. The "what ifs" and the tracing of the paths life took him on, which somehow crossed with her paths that lead to this day, put a smirk on his face.
As the wedding party glided side by side down the aisle, he reflected on his parents and how he wished he could have their happiness that he grew up knowing. He focused on his friends and how happy they had been in their early stages of marriage. He was ready to have it all. As the final couple walked down the aisle, the ring bearer and flower girl trotted down to their positions momentarily stealing the show with their adorable outfits; the young man looked up. His bride-to-be was radiant. She stood there glowing as if she was really a Heavenly being. This divine sight made him realize how lucky he truly was to be starting the rest of his life with her.
As the music began to crescendo, the onlookers stood up to welcome the new bride into the church. As everyone stood, the young man did everything he could to not run to her and be by her side. Luckily for him, the onlookers had their gaze fixed on her as she walked down. He tried his best to keep his composure as emotions began to flood him. He didn't know whether to smile, laugh, or cry, all he knew was that he wanted her by his side for the rest of his life.
- - -
The scene was set, the day had come. 8 months, 12 days, and 4 hours had gone into planning every last detail. There she sat, nervous. The last 4 hours of prepping for her wedding had been completed and she sat down at a table getting ready to walk down the aisle and marry the man of her dreams. She remembered how much planning had gone into this one day and how none of it mattered now. She just wanted to be married to her fiance.
Her dad walked into the room and gave her a big hug while wiping his misty eyes. His daughter was all grown up and he was about to give her away. The daughter looked radiant to him. He knew this man would take care of her and seeing her happy made his heart flutter.
As they exited the room, they stood at the entrance of the church. The processional music came on and everyone looked at the bride. She blushed, smiled, and locked eyes with her soon to be husband. He was smiling bigger than her, which almost seemed impossible. When walking down the aisle she thought of everything they had been through over the past 3 years. She was done with being apart and she wanted to spend every day with him for the rest of her life.
After the ceremony and the pictures, everyone rushed to the reception.
When the reception had started, the DJ was doing his thing progressing everything along. After all the announcements, the wedding march, and toasts, he eventually started the game of anniversaries. In this game, he has every married couple stand. As they stood, he would tell a certain anniversary number to sit down until the oldest anniversary would be the last standing. The bride and groom were the first to sit as he announced that those people should sit if they have been married for less than 3 hours. The crowd laughed. Eventually the gathering of married people became less and less until 2 different couples stood standing. Their age showed that their marriages had stood the test of time throughout the years. The number was at 60 for years spent together and both couples stood smiling bright. The DJ continued, "61!" neither couple budged. "62?" still, no movement. "63?!" One couple sat to the gaiety of applause. The DJ took his mic and rushed the last couple standing. This couple was the groom's great grandparents. The DJ stood next to them and asked, "What is your name and how long have you been married?"
The amount of time spent together amassed to a jaw dropping 68 years! The DJ whooped and hollered at this fact, and everyone else stood clapping for this "young" couple. The big question came for the seasoned couple, "What advice do you have for the newly married couple here?"
The Groom's Great-Grandma stood there smiling. In the 5 seconds it took her to answer this question, her mind raced with thoughts of her own marriage. She remembered the night that she and her husband gave a try to dating. She remembered her quick, nervous breathes, and her palms getting sweaty due to being anxious about putting herself out there in a vulnerable spot. She remembered the half smile he gave her, the hug that lifted her off her feet and the subsequent twirl that made her feel more alive than ever. She remember holding his hand tightly, walking as close as she could to him on a cold autumn night trying to not only steal his warmth, but also bottle up as much of the love that was emanating between them. Her thoughts flashed to the car ride that they took that had no particular destination in mind. The warm spring air spun around the inside of the car as they sped down the country road listening to music. In this thought, she could actually feel the sun, the wind, and the passenger seat. The music was playing and her husband (then boyfriend) was right next to her.
Memories went from trickling through to a torrent that rained down. She remembered when her husband proposed to her and the smiles that refused to go away for hours after. She remembered her own wedding, looking her best and radiating with love for the man in her life. Memories of their first place together; their kids; and even grand-kids; the vacations; and time spent with each other sharing in one another's unique love; these memories made her glow. The moment came back to her and she then spoke into the mic.
"It brings me much joy to see my great grandchild sit up there and marry his best friend. God has truly blessed you with such a wonderful woman. When I think about the "trick" to marriage, I think about how easy it is to say you love someone and to be in love with that person. The hardest part is loving that person when the difficult moments arise. It is hard to count the amount of times I have broken some of the promises I made on my wedding day, and I know your great grandfather could agree that marriage isn't always a walk in the park. But it's how we continued to love each other through the hard times. Some arguments were easier than the others, but some seemed almost unforgivable. Looking back, they were quite silly, really. A thought that we always had was that each of us come with faults, "baggage", and sins that we constantly work on and struggle with every day. You have to learn to work with your partner every day to make sure that they are continuing to stay true to God and not give into their temptations. Therefore, you need to be in God's Word, actively studying the Bible together and worshiping with like-minded Christians. You will see that if Christ can see all of your sins and still willingly die for you, how much easier should it be for us to forgive each other? Be kind to each other in all circumstances, which is hard to remember. When one loses sight of that, the other must remind them. Be respectful of each other and united with Christ in your marriage. If you want to know the "trick" to a long marriage, it is listening to what God has to say about your life together. In reality it's no trick, it's a gift and must be remembered as such an amazing one at that. If you don't believe me, take all the years I've been married as your example of what my words really mean."
The DJ stood for a second, he didn't know how to follow that up. He looked at the great grandmother and said, "Thank you for that. Really. That is the most meaningful thing I've heard anyone say in the 10 years that I've been doing this gig." Everyone applauded, for some that really hit home and emotions overwhelmed them. The DJ then proceeded to walk over to the Great Grandfather. "Well, sir, what is the trick to having such a long-standing marriage." The Great Grandfather asked to be excused for a second as he sat back down in his wheel chair. You could tell that his age had caught up with him in the 10 minutes that all of this was going on. As he huffed back down into his chair he motioned for the mic.
There was no pause, he looked at the couple and then stared up at his wife. "I miss the days when I could walk down the sidewalk, holding my wife's hand. I miss the days when I would come up behind her while she was making dinner and hugging her until she would turn around and give me a peck on the lips. (The little kids in the audience scoffed and snickered at this thought.) I miss going for bike rides together and carrying the groceries in for her. I miss the little things, because now they are so big since I am so limited in my age. What I would give just to dance with her one more time without getting tired and my legs growing weak... But you know, the days of youth move on and you get tired. Your marriage will be the same. It will be wonderful in these beginning years, but as you grow older together, you will get tired and with that tiredness the spark dies. The trick to marriage is getting that spark to burst into flame. There are many ways to get a flame going and not the same way will work every time. Never give up on that flame. When a flame is at the point of going out, panic starts to kick in. You run around cursing it because it isn't doing what you want it to do, so you have to take a moment to stop, assess the situation, and rekindle. Sometimes the spark is defiant and it takes a lot of work to get it going again but when it does catch, it burns bright.
In my old age, I obviously cannot do what I could in my twenties and thirties, but I do my best to remind my wife of why I still love her. Even though I cannot get up and dance with her, sometimes sitting next to her holding her hand, is just as great because we are still sitting there together so much in love. And one last thing, some people say that love takes work, they may be right, but if you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life. With this woman I have been "working" for 70 years and I'll tell you what, even though we have had the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, I wouldn't say I've worked a day in my life with her. She means everything to me and my world would be in shambles without her because she is my world. If you love what you do together (taking care of each other), you will soon realize that every effort is worthwhile and will see you through in the end. So don't let that spark go, and never work a day in your life." He ended his sentence with an all-knowing wink. He handed the mic back to the DJ, his wife sat next to him and gave him a kiss. Everyone applauded. The applause was so loud that the little children who laughed were covering their ears.
The rest of the night went as well as any wedding night could go. People would randomly go up to the old couple and let them know how full of impact their message was to them on that night. When the music was going, off to the side, you could see the old man hold his wife's hand tight. She leaned into him like that one particularly cold autumn night during their youth. Whether love was just starting out or maintaining its longevity, that room was full of love, in fact, it was nearly bursting at the seams.
We all want to be that old couple left standing. We want to be able to look back at a seasoned marriage and give sage advice.
So what advice would you give?
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