Whenever my Uncle Russell would visit us in Texas, he would bring us unique science-y toys. We received a chemistry set, rockets, a plasma ball, and a boomerang. The year he got me the boomerang, I remember traveling to a nearby park that had an open field off of the sidewalk. On the other side of this field was a line of trees that started a forested area. I would say the distance (in my young eyes) was miles from the sidewalk to the forested area, but in reality it was probably 30-50 yards apart.
The goal of a boomerang is that if you throw it just right, it should come back to you. My first attempt was pretty horrible, mostly because I didn't know how to hold it. I'm pretty sure I threw it like a frisbee and the result is that it went 15 feet and died. Mind you, I was probably 9 years old. My uncle showed me how to properly hold the boomerang and then he threw it and magically it came back, well, sort of. It probably fell short about 20 feet, but the idea that it actually came back, thrilled me. I think the thought of it working thrilled him more than me though, because he kept throwing it to see if it would perfectly come back to us. I don't remember what try it was, but after many failed attempts for it to come perfectly back, he threw it with all his might. We watched as the L shaped piece of wood zoomed into the air and out of sight as it went into the forest. My uncle was not happy. Angrily, he commanded us to leave it, mostly because it was "broken". haha. The idea that someone, somehow, came up with the idea of throwing something into the air and it would return to them still baffles me to this day, but the idea of something coming back to where it started, even if it is not exactly on point, happens more often than you think.
How often have you started something just to have to go back to the beginning, just because you forgot a step? How many times have you had to retrace your steps because you misplaced an item? When you leave for work, you plan on returning home at some point, right? We boomerang all the time, and probably don't even realize it.
There is a song by The Head and the Heart called: Down in the Valley and there is a line that says, "I'm on my way, I'm on my way, I'm on my way back to where I started." Then I thought, how true is that? 9 years ago, I graduated from Martin Luther College, bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to hit the ground running and inspire teenagers in high school. 9 years later, and I'm returning 2 hours east of where I started. I may not be as bright eyed and bushy tailed, but the road I've taken (or should I say roads) have created a confident teacher and one who is always up for a challenge.
I came to Florida 2 years ago, only having 7 years under my belt and having spent 6 of those years teaching 3-5 children that were so easy to manage and teach. Now I'm leaving Florida having been grinding through rough terrain that has broadened my horizon in teaching and managerial skills. I've learned how to rely not on myself to fix everything and had a team of teachers to help, a great administrator that humored me in all that I had to overcome, and some pretty understanding parents. I can confidently say that 2 years ago, I wouldn't have ever thought that I would be the teacher that I am today. If you weren't moving your feet figuratively and metaphorically, you were going to be in trouble.
Whenever I explain my teaching situation out here, I always say that it is one of the toughest ministries out there. I hope that people don't think I'm leaving because I couldn't hack it. I can, and I have kids from 3rd-8th grade wishing me to stay so that I can teach them. (Which absolutely warms my heart and reaffirms that I am doing what I am supposed to do.) This ministry is very high risk/high reward, but also high risk/massive blows. I have been in the company of teachers ranging from "fresh out of college" to 20+ years of teaching and it is like we are all on the same playing field communicating for the win, holding each other up when one person gets burnt out, or cheering when the smallest win comes around. I've had to carry kids out of classrooms, break up fights, try to communicate with students who only spoke French or Spanish, comfort when loss of family came around, and sit and listen just so that the student can finally talk to someone. I went to school some days on fumes and came home somehow even more exhausted. 14 hour days were common, I've worked 21 days straight multiple times this year, and even if few rewards came around, I knew I was making a difference, slowly chipping away.
I think one of the coolest opportunities in teaching, and my coworkers have said the same thing, is that these kids aren't afraid to ask the difficult questions when it comes to God's Word, or even the questions that might make you wonder if they are doubting or not. I've had more real conversations with students about God's Word than I have ever had, and that will always stick with me wherever I go. This ministry is strange in that way, you might have a kid with multiple behavior problems, but they are searching for someone to bring them some light, which come from God's Word and the students can see how God's Word really does work through the way the faculty treats the students in the school.
One thing I did, as a hopeful lasting impression, was give the students a picture and a letter. The picture was one of my favorite Calvin and Hobbes pictures that depicts Calvin and Hobbes going on an adventure. They are trying to follow a map that has this loopy path going from "Here" to "There". I tried to give the kids life advice, which I don't know if I'm qualified for that since I am only 32. I wanted them to know that wherever I was, I will always be cheering for them and wanting only the best for them. I will miss this quirky, ragtag group of kids that made me a better person, even if most days may not have seemed like it.
Really though, I think I'm finally okay with leaving, even if my mind consistently tells me to never be okay with that thought. But, as a boomerang should, I'm coming back to Minnesota.
Maybe this time, though, I'll get lost in the woods and stay for a while.
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